Episode 212- We Remember Those Who Make Us Better


So in episode 50 of the total life freedom podcast, I did a show called Vinny the jerk and it was about the night that I met my wife Elizabeth and how he hit it off. But I must’ve had a way about me or when she went to leave that night she called me Vinnie the jerk. I’ll take that with a little bit of a grain of salt cause she had been drinking just a tad that night. So we get a little bit of a pass on that a little bit, but I certainly can be a jerk. But let me explain on that a little bit because I can be a jerk within my business. I could be a jerk with my clients, but I’m a jerk because I want them to be better. So quite often it’s my job to be the jerk because what I have a lot of times are people that are struggling or people that are stuck or people that are frustrated and they need somebody to come up behind them and give them a nice kick in the pants.


But most people won’t do that. And there was one situation a year ago and there are about a billion I can bring up to you because this is not uncommon, but a great guy named Nick and our total life freedom community was asking about writing a book. And if you know me, I love books. I love the idea of writing a book. I think it’s a great way to build a platform. It’s a great way to get the word out, but this book was way off course from anything that he was working on. He was already stressed out with work and to me it just didn’t make any sense. So he posted it in the group form and he got a whole bunch of, yeah, I think you should do it or that’s a great idea. Go for it. Don’t let anybody stop you. Just do it. And as I can do and I can do so well sometimes I was the jerk as my group, but I was the only dissenting voice.


I said, I don’t get it. Why would you write this book now when you’ve got all these other things going, you’re already struggling with time. You know, this other thing is your main priority. You’ve got to get it off the ground. And as much as I love the idea of writing a book, it is hard work. And what you’re doing right now in my opinion, needs your attention, needs most of your attention. So my suggestion is stick with what you’re doing. Put this on your future list within that list. Write down little ideas about this book so you can keep it going in your mind. So when you’re ready to write it, you’ve got ideas down. But do not go off course with what you’re doing right now cause it’s going to be a distraction. And he messaged me back and he thanked me because he knew that everybody was being supportive and they wanted them to do it and they wanted to say, yeah, crush your fears and go do it both in the context of it, it wasn’t the best thing for him.


So I partially jokingly said, I’m sorry for being a jerk, but we’ve been through this together and I couldn’t in my heart advise you to take that time away and that energy away from what you really need to do to do something that just feels good in the moment. And really that doesn’t line up with what you said you wanted to do. And he thanked me for it. He said, I knew I needed to hear that from you and I needed that opinion. And he said to me, vent, I don’t pay you for tact. Everybody in my life is tactful. Everybody says what they I want to hear and what I need from you is to tell me the truth. And he said in the fact that you do it, knowing that you can lose a client or you could possibly lose a friend in the process, but that you know that you’re doing it because it’s the best thing for me.


That makes me appreciate it even more. And I so appreciated him saying it that way. And I don’t curse on the show because I know I have parents that listen with their kids, but when people ask me what my role is, what my role and my business is with the masterminds and the membership, I tell them that I’m the chief bud kicker. I don’t usually use language that soft when I say that, but I let people know that that’s my role and if people don’t want it or can’t handle it, then they’re probably not in the right place. And it’s not that I’m mean because I might be sounding that way this time. It’s not that it’s that I care and I know that not enough people are telling them the truth. So I have to risk at times coming across like the main one.


But I want to tell you for any of those that have experienced it or any of those that are in that position that I’m in or struggle with it that it’s very valuable for these people to have somebody like that in their life. I appreciate when my friends come to me, the ones that Karen, tell me the truth, not what I want to hear now. What’s gonna make me feel better? But the truth, if you don’t surround yourself with people that will tell you the truth, you’re going to fool yourself into thinking you’re doing better than you are. At the same time, deep down wondering, why aren’t I doing better? And that’s really what it comes down to. Being around and hanging around people that are going to make you better, and the people that are really gonna make you better are going to be the ones that are not going to accept your excuses.


They’re going to be the ones that see your potential. And even if you’re doing better than others, they’re going to push you because you’ve got a higher potential than some other people do. They’re going to be the ones that show you things that you’re not normally seeing, and they’re going to challenge you to look in that direction. Yes, men. And yes, women rarely make you better. They just make you feel better in the moment. But without any real redeeming qualities, knowledge or experience. And as I was thinking about this, and I was thinking about recording this episode, I saw on the news that Jimmy Johnson, the former coach of the Dallas Cowboys, was inducted into the pro football hall of fame. And Troy Aikman, who was his quarterback when they won two Superbowls together, said this, he said Jimmy was the one that put this team together who was the architect and he should have been the first one on this team to be inducted into the hall of fame.


And then he said this, we remember those people that make us better. Now I imagine Jimmy Johnson wasn’t always the nicest. And he didn’t always say what everybody wanted to hear. And at times he was probably quote unquote a jerk. But his job was to make them better. And that’s what he did. And by doing that, not only did his players make the hall of fame, but he did as well. So by being the jerk, that’s what I want for the people around me. And hopefully that’s what you want for the people around you is to be someone that makes them better. Talk to you tomorrow.

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