Episode 174- Do You Know What No Means?

So the more kids grow, We have one teenager, another one that’s going to be a teenager this year, the more I’m starting to realize what a pain in the neck I was to my family as a teenager. I’m doing these podcasts. It’s kind of like a walk down memory lane. It really is like therapy. I encourage every one of you to start recording your stories, whether you publish them or not because you will learn more about yourself, both the good and the bad. They will question the way you thought and your own beliefs. Nothing has done that better for me than recording this podcast because hearing me say things out loud, I go, Oh, I don’t know if I believe what I used to believe anymore. I was an antagonist to my family more than I ever realized and there was one incident that makes me laugh and I see so much of this and our oldest son is the inability to take no for an answer and there’s a fine line, right?


I talked about often patience and persistence. I tried to teach him that. I love your persistence, but if you annoy the crap out of everybody, you’re not going to get what you want. So I don’t worry about him losing the persistence, but I really want him to understand patience. But there was one time I must’ve been doing the same exact thing to my parents and my dad said to me, I hope one day you have a kid just like you. And I think I got one. My dad said to me in complete frustration and exhaustion, he said, “Do you know what no means?” And I looked at him and with a straight face, I said “No.” And my dad just smiled at the absurdity of what I said. But it was one of the first times that I realized you can use wit to get what you want.


Because if I didn’t know what no meant, I couldn’t have answered no. And my dad didn’t give in very often, but he gave it at that point, because I think he understood what I just did. I think way too many people, accept no way too quickly. I was reminded of this when I was watching a YouTube video with Gary Vaynerchuk recently and he was given a speech, he flies all over the world giving speeches, it seems like every day. And some young kid came up to him, he was talking about this new business idea that he had, how excited he was. And Gary was encouraging him and say, Hey, keep in touch. I want to hear about this. And the guy got a little bit incredulous and he said, you know, we emailed you about it. And Gary said, Oh you did? He said, yeah we did.


And Gary smiled and said, how many times? The guy said once, and Gary just laughed in his face. He goes, once isn’t enough. He said, dude, I’m busy. You’ve got to email me more than once. Multiple times. And I think so often we stop ourselves at the first time of a no. And that’s why I think rejection is just so powerful. I think it needs to be addressed. I think it needs to be encouraged. I think rejection, it needs to be a badge of honor. Way more than success. Because I remember when I got inside one time I was talking to a man that ran a very successful business and he had a lot of people applying for jobs, a lot of people interested in working for him and he told me something that really got my attention. He said that they will never respond to the first three emails or phone calls.


And I was like, really? He said, yeah, it’s easy to make that phone call. Everybody does it. It’s kind of easy to make the second phone call and when you call twice and you get nothing, the amount of people that will call a third time is ridiculously low, but he said something that really interests me. If somebody calls three times and they don’t get a response and then they call back a fourth time, that is somebody that I want working for me. And I had never honestly heard it said that way before. He didn’t view it as an annoyance at all to him it was a test nobody’s getting through. On the first call, we get tons of first calls calling. One time to them didn’t prove anything but calling that fourth time that Ben something, and here’s why. If you’re in sales, you can’t just give up after one try.

You can’t give up. After two tries, he was weeding out the people that were going to be successful from the people that were not going to be successful because if people called one time and gave up, they’re going to call one time and give up with potential clients. And this was why his business was so successful. He had built around him, an army of people that didn’t quit. They were all trained from the beginning before they even got there to not know what no means. And I heard Dave Ramsey talk about this one time. Somebody called into his a show one time. He said, I’m having a hard time motivating my people. And Ramsey said that he doesn’t motivate his people and the guy was so surprised by it. He goes, how are you so successful if you don’t motivate your own people? And Randy says, I don’t motivate my people.

I hire motivated people, and that was the answer. This guy that I was talking to did the same thing. He didn’t go by resume. He went by grit. He knew that if somebody went after it that many times and did not give up, they are somebody that understands it and they’re worth training and the investment of their time and money. I truly believe that this is a precursor to success, and this is something that more people need to not only know, but need to practice and make part of their habits. So after hearing this, do you really think that, you know what no means I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

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