The transcript for Ep. 26- Two Things That Hold People Back From Freedom
I want to talk to you today about two reasons why I think so many people struggle and fail while trying to create their own business and trying to create their own life of freedom. And it comes down to these two things. It comes down to their perceived need of stuff and security. Now that’s it. Now business can be very complicated, but in truth, it really is pretty simple and when it comes down to it, people’s need for stuff often trumps their desire for freedom. So they will allow their stuff, they will allow their cars, they will allow their house, the neighborhood they’re in, the activities that they’ve signed their kids up for, their want for that motorcycle or that boat that gets them away from the thoughts of their crappy job. The thing that is their escape, they allow that stuff to actually stop them from living the life that they want to live day after day. And that need for stuff that need for things that used to feel special, but they’re just normal now that you don’t want to lose
That stops people from actually taking chances on things that they want to do. It holds them in their place. It makes them keep playing defense instead of starting to play offence. So they are quite literally just trying to hold onto things that they already have so that they don’t lose them, instead of actually being able to give up things that are just okay for the things that they really want. So we have a really nice car, but with the drive to the job that we don’t want to go to with it, we have a really nice house, but it’s the house we have to come home to after doing work all day that really doesn’t excite us. It’s the boat or the vacation home that we purchase to get away from the life that we’re trying to escape from. So I study really successful people.
I consider that my job. What I noticed from so many successful people that the stuff doesn’t really matter. Now a lot of them have it, but it’s not that big of a deal to them. That’s not why they do it. And there’s no way in the world they would let stuff stop them from doing the work that they do now. And the problem is you don’t even know what the great work is that you can be doing because you’re so stuck doing work that you don’t want to do to pay for stuff that you already bought that you can’t even see the other side of it. So we model the people that are successful that we really want to learn from, and what we’ve learned is stuff isn’t a big deal. So we have a house, we’ve got a nice house.
It’s not a gorgeous mansion, it’s a nice house. It’s a paid for house in the suburbs of Pittsburgh that is more than good enough for what we need for us and our three homeschool kids who are messy and dirty and love creating things and love building things. We don’t need a beautiful pristine house for that. It’s just not the time of our life for it, but we can very easily be coerced into thinking of, that’s what we need. That’s the image that we need to project to be this person in this world, and it makes no difference to us. So somebody can come to our house and be unimpressed. They can be like, I thought it would be bigger and that makes no difference to us. Whether they think that or don’t think that or they’re impressed by it or they’re not impressed by it.
What makes a difference to us is having the freedom to do what we want to do every day and having no limits and not feeling like I need to take on work that I don’t want to do to pay for something that I already bought or I need to buy to make myself feel better. So that’s the stuff part of it and there’s so much more that we can dive into. There’s so many other episodes that can be pulled out of just those couple of minutes, but I’ll stop there on that one. But the second one is security, and I’m not sure exactly which one holds people back more. And I love studying this and finding out more and more, but security is another big one. Your need for security, for perceived security is going to severely slowed down your ability to actually do the work that you really love doing or at least being able to brainstorm and think of the ideas that you really want to be doing because I can tell you when you need security and you need that job and you need somewhere that’s going to give you a steady paycheck to make you feel like everything’s fine, you will have a really hard time finding the courage to say, this is not what I want to do and this is what I want to do and I don’t need the security to do this. Because I can tell you right now there is somebody that is way broker than you are that has way less security than you do, but they have no fear.
They have nothing stopping them and they are going to eat your lunch. They are going to come in and they’re going to just do what they want to do their way because there’s nothing to lose. But if you feel like you have something to lose, I can lose the house, I can lose our emergency fund, I can lose our steady paycheck. If you work that way, you will play defense mode the whole way. And it’s just like the football team that goes into prevent defense when they’ve got a four point lead with two minutes to go. Just about every single time when they play prevent defense, the other team drives down the field because there’s wide open spots to throw the ball. And here’s what happens. The team with the lead has lost their momentum. They’ve lost their momentum cause they went into prevent defense mode.
They went into security mode. And by the time that they need to make that stop, deep in their own territory, they can’t do it because they’ve lost their momentum. And I see so many people like this in business and in life where they lose their momentum and they’d try to just hold on to what they have instead of fighting for something that they really want. And when you realize, you realize if you lose those things, if you lose the stuff and you lose the security, I often want people to lose it because they realize, oh my goodness, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. It’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I don’t even need this stuff. That’s when it’s really easy to actually do what you want to do. But we get hung up on these paychecks and the security and this stuff that we now can’t lose, that it forces us to play prevent defense. And while you’re worried about losing these things that don’t matter, your stuff and your security, you actually wind up losing the things that do matter to you, which are your dreams and the things you want to accomplish.