Episode 152- How To Lose A Raving Fan

I want to talk to you today about how to lose a fan. Am I not talking about the type of fan that blows air around. ¬†I’m talking about somebody who is really into your work, a fan of what you do, and this is about one of many ways how you can lose that fan. Here’s the story and it’s not a fictional story. This actually just happened and it’s fresh in my mind that I said, let’s just record this and get it out there. So for me, this time of the year, it starts getting cold. It starts getting dark and I can read a whole lot more than I did there in the summertime in the summer and the fall. Even in the spring, we’re outside so much with the kids, we’re doing a lot of activities, we’re doing a lot of work. It’s lighter later and I don’t have as much time to read, but as soon as Halloween comes and it gets darker earlier and it’s colder outside, I started diving into a lot more reading as well as creating content, writing my next book, all those things.

And when you combine that with my birthday just happened and my kids and Elizabeth get me books, they know I want books for my birthday. I really just enjoy curling up in my comfy couch or on the comfy chair and either early in the morning, sometime during the afternoon or during the longer darker color evenings, it’s my chance to dive into these books, get some insight, get some inspiration and soak it all in. So I got a book recently, and I’m not going to say the name and I’m not going to say the author. I had heard about this person over the last six months to a year. So I was really intrigued to read the book. So I got the book and it was a quick read. It wasn’t more than a couple hundred pages. I read it within a couple of days and I really enjoyed the book. I thought it had some great insights and whenever I read a book from an author that I’d like to potentially connect with, get to know more of a book that I really appreciated, I will reach out to that author if it’s possible.

And I’ll let him know how much I enjoyed the book. I’ll leave a review for them. I try to post on social media. I try to do everything I can with a book that I really enjoy to let other people know about it. So in this particular book, they didn’t have an email address or a mailing address, but I did some research online and I found the author’s website and their email. I sent a message to the author letting them know just how much I appreciated their book, how much I enjoyed it. I thanked him for writing it. Now when I do that, I never say anything about me. I never try to ask them for anything. I just want to do it as a token of gratitude because I know the effort that goes into actually writing a book and until a book becomes a really big hit.

Most authors don’t get messages like that enough, believe it or not. So I sent the message and I didn’t know if this person would respond back and if they did respond back. You don’t know if it’s something like, Oh, thanks a lot. And that’s it. Sometimes you’ll get responses back from authors and it’s really appreciative and it’s curious and the author wants to know about me and they have questions for me as well. And also what I liked about the book in more detail more specifically. And when I get messages like that, I know I can continue having a conversation with this person and they appreciate it. So I sent the message and I went a couple of days and didn’t get a response, which is no big deal, not expected at all. But then I got a message back, and I was excited to read it and it was a quick message and said, thanks so much.


Glad you enjoyed it. You should come out to my event that I’m having in the location that he was having it at. And immediately I was like, ah, like he pitched me something on my thank you. Like I wasn’t real thrilled by that. But hey, this person’s aggressive. That’s the way that they go about business. So, so be it. And I looked at the information because I was just curious and it was a very expensive event that they were pitching. And just so you know, I’m all about investing in myself, but I don’t generally just drop a couple of grand on somebody in something that I know nothing about. I mean I read your book, I liked it. I want them to say thank you and now I’m being pitched an expensive event. So I emailed back and I wasn’t able to go.¬†Actually I’m going to be out of town that day so I’m not available, but I’ll keep up on what you’re doing and the email back within just a couple minutes. And they he said, well are you following us online, here, here and here and would you like to come to this event with us? And again, it was an immediate pitch to another high priced event. And at this point I was so turned off by it. I mean I don’t expect this person to have any interest in me or my life, but wow. To take a thank you note and to immediately pound that into two high price pitches. I mean, right off the bat it wasn’t a, Hey Vince and how are you doing? What’s going on in your life? What’d you like about the book? It was just an immediate hard sales pitch. And maybe because it’s so opposite of the way that I want to go about doing business, and I’m not saying it doesn’t work.

I’m sure there are a lot of people, when they get that from this person, we’ll sign up immediately. But boy did it turn me off and it turned me away. Now this person I’m sure does not need the money, so maybe that allows them to be a little bit bolder, a little more aggressive, a little bit like they don’t care if they piss some people off and that’s entirely up to them. But the problem is I see people doing this that don’t have the money and connections and fame like this person does, and they’re selling the same exact way. And to me, with this person, it seems arrogant with many others in that spot. It seems desperate. But here’s the interesting part that I want people like this author and anybody else going through this in the future to understand. I would say there would be a high probability that within the next 12 months I would’ve signed up for one of these events from this person.


Quite literally, as I’m reading the book, I’m thinking I might want to go to one of those things, but reading the book alone didn’t give me trust. Trust is built up over time. Trust is built up with relationships. Trust is built up with referrals and recommendations from friends who go to these events and say, you really need to go to one of these. So the entire situation just left a bad taste in my mouth and it was kind of sad because I really wanted to like this person. And when I got that first email with the pitch, I mean immediately the person lost trust with me. But with the second more deliberate, even more aggressive pitch, they lost the fan. I can tell you that I will not recommend this book because the way people do business and the way people care about their customers means way more me than the words that were actually written in the book.


So I want this to be a help to those of you that are building fan bases, that are gaining followers, that are looking to build trust over time with the people that care about you the most. Don’t lose your fans for the quick fix. The lifetime value of fans and not just fans, but raving fans is so much more valuable than trying to get quick fixed numbers. Because when you get raving fans, they talk about you. They spread the word. Not only will they go to events of yours, but they will bring other people with them because they like you that much. And when they bring other people with them, they also talk about you online and in their products and in their content. And when they talk about you in a good way, it’s not like this. So when somebody reaches out to you and tells you how much they enjoy your work, thank them, appreciate them, find out about them if you can, but don’t just do a series of heartless pitches because that’s exactly how you lose your fans. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

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