Watching The Wheels
So, I try to get personal in this podcast, I want to open up and want to be real and honest. I won’t have a filter to what’s going on compared to what I present to you. That’s why I always want to bring what I’m learning, I’m discovering I’m struggling with, and what we’re dealing with so you can see what life is really like over here on. I’ll be honest, it’s kind of odd building a platform, it’s kind of odd having these people listening to the show that you produce and you just put it out then all of a sudden people are listening and they know what’s going on with your life. They know stories about you that you have forgotten because you recorded it and moved on but they just listened to it five minutes earlier. And I got that first when I wrote the book but the podcast has been a lot different. It’s been a lot more intimate and the response to be honest with you was overwhelming.
I did an episode a couple weeks ago, I think it was the 100th episode and I talked about I don’t check the status of the podcast because I don’t want to be influenced by it. But the problem is I need to cover up my screen to not see my stats when I login to Libsyn. And I mentioned that Nick Michaels, who listens to the show work for Libsyn told me there’s not a way for me to get rid of that because most people aren’t trying to hide their stats and they are trying to see more of their stats. So, I need to go about covering it up just so I’m not thinking about and I’m just concentrating on the content.
But what happened Halloween night as I was scheduling the next episode, I didn’t cover it up enough and I saw a little bit of what the stats where. After I saw that, I thought I did something wrong and cheated and peak at something that I shouldn’t look at. But I saw the numbers and after initial disappointment because I saw it, it sunk in that in the month of October we had over 13,500 unique downloads just for the month for the Total Life Freedom podcast. It just blows my mind. So maybe I’ll make a habit of looking once a month, the end of the month and then I’ll move on.
With all this, I am a driven person, I like to succeed. I like to accomplish things. I like to help people. I know it is cliché but I truly don’t feel like I’m working. I think I’ve done enough crappy jobs and pivoted my way out of different ones and start things I really want to do that truly that as everything grows, I only do the work that I want to do and I eliminate it as quickly as possible the things that I don’t want to do. So, there’s good and bad to that. The good is exactly that I get to do the work that I love to do but the bad is sometimes it’s hard to stop. Because when you get to help people for living. When you see their lives changing. When you see them building their businesses. When you see people like Andy Storch selling out his conference. People like John quitting his job and crushing his business. People like Jennifer Harshman getting huge editing clients. People like David Rhodes taking his skills, things that they weren’t sure of and turning it into something that is right up his alley, helping people create membership sites with the membership. When you see people doing this and you having some type of effect on that, it is somewhat addicting. But I have a wife and we have three kids and they are the most important people in my life.
So, our vision when we started this was to not let the business take us away from our family. So, I think we do a really good job of that. But there is a certain amount of guilt and frustration that comes with that because there are days I feel very frustrated. To be fully honest, there are days I feel resentful. I feel resentful that I can’t put in the work that sometimes I feel like I should be putting in. It is not that I can’t, it’s that I choose not to because were at this place where if we put that time in, if we really want to make this platform explode, we have everything ready to do it. But getting bigger was never the goal. Becoming an influencer quote unquote was not something I sought at and it’s not something I’m even actively seeking.
What you’re putting in the podcast, you’re putting out to the world. The reason why I’m doing that is I have so many different ideas and thoughts and things I’ve learned that I shared with them. I run communities with my own mastermind, but truly nowhere else. I felt this logjam that I got to put it out there somewhere and this was the outlet. it wasn’t to be a star. So that is the push and pull the comes with this. Whenever I’m confused, whenever I feel myself being pulled more towards the work and more towards just being bigger than other people’s versions of success, I think of the song Watching the Wheels by John Lennon. And when I’m really struggling, I will pull that song up and I will play it. I will just sit here in my office and I just listen to it. I get people all the time telling me that you could take this and turn it into that and growth and just really going after it. it’s hard because I tell myself I have the life that we want now and it is getting better. It’s not about bigger. And I think of some lines from the song,
When I tell them that I’m doing fine.
Watching shadows on the wall.
Don’t you miss the big-time boy.
You no longer on the ball.
I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.
I really love to watch them roll
And that’s how I felt even at the last couple years, but I want more than anything more than business success is the ability to raise our kids the way that we want to raise them. I see so many people getting caught in the trap, the work, the money and the stuff trap and they work so hard when their kids are teenagers. They just want to provide a better life and it so noble. But I make it a habit to talk to people that are a lot older than I am. I make it a habit to ask them questions. When you see them and they have the money, they have the house and the kids are gone, they will tell you I would trade all of this money right now to have been with my kids more back then. That’s why the episode I did about Parkinson’s law is so special and so important because those of us that are driven to have the business ideas and the goals, I think we can still do it. I think it’s still possible to do without sacrificing the time with our family because I don’t think it’s going to be success if we blow up this platform of Total Life Freedom is everywhere and I am like Gary V showing up in your Facebook feed every second and I’m traveling all over the world to talk to people and I’m out with my kids. That is success for him but it’s not for me.
But I just want you to know that I struggle with this big time. I can’t tell you how many times that I just need a cabin overlooking the lake for a week. Just give me a week to get so much of the stuff out and I’ll come back calm, come back collected but I know it’s not the truth. I know even if I did that I have even more ideas. The struggle will be the same if not greater. And I just had to tell myself that there’s going to be plenty of time to grow the business, to go speaking, to do all these things later but to not sacrifice this time with the kids now. But I know if I wasn’t doing the work that I love doing, I would feel dissatisfied tremendously. So, the balancing act, the wire that I walk on is making sure the work that I do is exactly the work I want to do for the right people and doing it as efficiently as I can with my time and not wasting time on work that doesn’t matter. And that’s the rub for so many people that I talked to is they’re spending so much time on work that to them that doesn’t matter.
So, for me I’m fine not the biggest. I’m happy to be underground doing this. Our grassroots way and I am still doing the work I love to do. But if you strive for life doing the work that you love to do while not sacrificing the time with your family, that’s what we’re striving for here. And if it hits a nerve, I am happy to have brought this to you. I will keep building this slowly but surely but I am not gonna miss watching the wheels go round and round because I really do love to watch them roll.
I will talk to you tomorrow.