I Just Want To Hang Out With Cool People
I want to thank, give credit to and give a shout out to my buddy Jamie Slingerland. Jamie and I have been friends for three or four years, maybe. Him and wife, Ruthie and their four awesome kids live in Franklin, Tennessee and every time I come through Nashville and Franklin, they are just the greatest host. They welcome me in. They welcome us with open arms. They taught me so much about how to be a great host. Jamie is an online entrepreneur, selling stuff on Amazon. Him and Ruthie are both coaches and Jamie is part of the Entrepreurial Family Man Podcast with a bunch of other friends of mine, Chris Niemeyer, Michael McGreevy and Chris McCluskey.
A little over a year ago, I got hired by Nick Elkins to do the opening keynote speech at the Association for Talent Development in Tampa Florida. So, as we look to do with this freedom lifestyle, well okay how do we build this around our family? And the speech as it turned out, was the day after our son Nolan’s 11th birthday. But fortunately, we can work from anywhere. We homeschool. So, we said let’s make this a family adventure to Tampa.
So, it turned out that Jamie and his family were already going to be in Tampa, in Indian Shores on vacation the exact same time. So, we talked to him about it and it turned out that where they were renting a place for the week, there was a place right next to it that was also available. So, I like to move quick in these situations, I don’t want to over think anything. Let’s just get something going. Let’s get there. Let’s not let this fall through the cracks. So, boom boom boom. Next thing we know we’ve rented the place next to them for a week. We talk to Nolan, you know you can have your birthday at the beach. They’ve got a pool there. We could invite the Slingerland’s. We know some of the people there. That could be a pretty sweet birthday and he was all for it. Essentially, the next thing we know we are gathered around the pool, the place we were staying. It’s our family, the Slingerlands, the entire Niemeyer family. Andy Storch, his wife Cortney and their kids came over from Orlando and Nolan instantly get this awesome birthday party at the pool down by a pier fishing, playing shuffleboard like old people and it was an unexpected blast.
But while these kids were running in and out throughout the day, actually the day before that as well, I still had the speech that I’m gonna give that I’ve never given before. So, every chance I get, I am sneaking up to our place and I’m rehearsing, talking about it and thinking about what to say. I’m just getting everything down so I wasn’t nearly as relaxed as everyone else does. I had this thing on my mind for the next day. And finally, around 6 o’clock or 7 o’clock, the party winds down. We are all at the pool hanging out there but really just the adults at that point because the kids were fishing. Jamie was being as inquisitive self and he was asking how I felt about it. What I am going to talk about. He was just interested. He gave me a really good piece of advice in terms of my speech but I won’t dive here because it is irrelevant to the story. But he basically gave the idea on how to end on a really clean simple note and I was lacking that.
We start talking about friendships and life and so many things beyond business or speech. If you know Jamie, he is one of the fun guys. You can hang out and there’s always jokes. We can get really serious on our conversation but it’s always laughter and fun wherever he goes. And he said a real simple saying to me that I don’t even think you realize how impactful it was to me and it really is simple but powerful. And from that moment on, I’ve been able to use that. I’ve been able to craft that in my own head for not just my personal life and friendships but how I do business and more importantly who I do business. So, Jamie if you are listening, this is probably the first time you’re hearing this because I don’t think I have I’ve ever told you this.
I remember being in the pool. I remember Elizabeth and Ruthie sitting there and talking by the edge. Jamie and I were just sitting there chatting and he looked at me and he goes, I just want to hang out with cool people. Like I said it wasn’t a deep, profound statement but I think most people overcomplicate things and I don’t think they realize how hard it is to make something smart also simple. And he happened to make something very smart, very simple, which is I just want to hang out with cool people. That stuck in my head and rang around in my head for a while. I realized I was doing a good job with it in my personal life. I was doing a good job with it with my friendships. I was hanging out with cool people but I slowly realize that I wasn’t doing the same thing to the same level when it came to the people that I was working with in business.
Now I know a lot of people will say that it is not the best mindset for ROI and for growth to your business and the whole thing about business not personal but to me the work that I do, business is personal. I kept thinking about what he said in the pool. I said something to myself that I just want to work with cool people. I can tell you it didn’t take that long to start implementing this because I took everything out of the equation. I look at things in terms like do I like this person? Do I want to be working with this person? And what I realized was the one I did not want to work with, the ones that I didn’t consider cool to hang around with, they were either the ones that was most dramatic, had the most problems that they brought consistently and they were the ones that brought the least amount of joy to the work that I did.
So slowly but surely, I started allowing those people to go either one way or the other whether it’s with one-on-one coaching or with masterminds or with memberships. To me, the most important things, especially those last two is the quality of the community. When you get rid of the abrasive ones. When you get rid of the ones of the most drama. You get rid of the ones that don’t do the work and always make you stress, the ones that make you feel like you care more than they do. When you start getting rid of them, your work life gets better and not only does your work life get better but the people within your community appreciate you doing that. Because to me it makes the community more generous. It makes it more helpful. Most importantly it makes it more fun. And I realize that I’ve learned that it’s hard to have fun with people that you don’t think are cool. So that one line that he said, a throwaway line that had nothing to do with business while we are at the pool had an impact on us the way we do business. And in turns made our community that much stronger and that much closer. And the reason why I do this shoutout is simple, I should be doing the shutouts. I’ve been given a gift of this opportunity to do this podcast for you. And you took the time to listen, which I so greatly appreciate. Because I think that there is about 800,000 other podcast you could be listening to and I consider it my responsibility to showcase the people in my life that helped me and that can also help you.
So, thank you to Jamie for the lesson you taught me. Thank you to you for listening. You don’t even know how much I appreciated and how wonderful and special it feels to wake up and get a message from somebody, to get an email from somebody telling you how much they loved an episode of my show and how they related to something and that means the world to me. So, if you’ve ever got something tell me, something I’m doing well, something most especially I could be doing better, email me and I will email you back. I love getting them and my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. So, there you go and I will talk to you tomorrow.