The Only Two Days That Matter

  “Most people don’t want to be part of the process. They want just want to be part of the outcome. But the process is where you figure out who’s worth being part of the outcome.” – Corey Lohrenz

 

Our kids love Star Wars. I don’t get the obsession. And this is coming from someone who’s first movie in a theater was the original Star Wars- before they diminished it by calling it The New Hope. To me, it will always be Star Wars. Admittedly, as a kid, I too got wrapped up in the series. I had the lunch box, the original action figures (how I wish I would have saved those) and the signed Darth Vader poster that I got when I met him at The Queens Mall. That was a scary afternoon. 

     But the Star Wars enthusiasts today take it to an entirely new level. Up until a few years ago, my kids could have watched any of those movies at any point. They’ve faded because they feel that Disney ruined the franchise. Personally, I have no clue. But I remember one Super Bowl Sunday when we were stuck in the cold with nothing to do, hours before kickoff. They suggested a Star Wars marathon. 

     In a scene from one of those movies, Han Solo is approached by someone in the cantina. You could see that there was a neediness in their eyes. It was obvious to anyone watching. 

     “I can see that you need something….desperately,” Solo responded. 

     That line made me laugh because it reminded me so much of the online business world. In fact, it reminded me of the way that so many people go about networking and building connections. They do so with desperation. 

     I teach the concept of The Hour of Giving. Desperate people don’t want to hear about it because they are, well, desperate. And desperate people don’t want to give. Desperate people want to get. And get quickly. 

     But desperation is like cheap cologne. It smells bad and it lingers for too long. Yet, because of short term thinking, it’s easy to look to build relationships desperately. Who do I need to meet? What can I get from them? How can they help me?

     Just like the person approaching Han Solo, we can see it coming a mile away. That person sliding into our DM’s looking to solve our problems without us asking, or without them asking what we actually want. The person who reaches out only when they need something. The person who wants you to make a connection for them even though there is no benefit to anyone but themselves. Is this sounding familiar?

     So how do we do this the right way?

     The answer is simple. I explain that to me, there are only two days that matter. Today, and three years from today. I live by this advice for life, for connections and for building a powerful network. 

      Let’s start with today. If you don’t work from desperation, you shouldn’t need much today. I should have everything I need. Can I buy food? Sure. Can I pay the bills today? Yup. So today is good. If today is only one of the two days that matter, we are already halfway there. There’s no need to stress, act out of character or do anything desperate that compromises our integrity. 

     The only other day that matters is three years from today. Why three years from today? Since everything is good today, and I don’t need much, all of my actions are focused on making three years from today amazing. Whether it’s through investing money, being helpful with a relationship or creating solid content, the only benefits I personally need are in the future. And the further out those benefits are needed in the future, the better the future will become. 

     So this is the approach I take daily when it comes to building a powerful network. When connecting with someone in person or online, I quite literally don’t want or need anything the vast majority of the time. Because today is great, remember? Why would I compromise trust or a relationship for something I don’t need? We all know- like investing or making a fine wine- the longer we wait, the more reward we might receive. 

     So when we build relationships with no expectations, it’s easy to establish rapport and trust. We can be ourselves. We can be generous with our honesty, testing the strength of that budding friendship. It’s in these times when we see how strong those bonds truly are. When we rush into anything- short term investing strategies or desperately looking to build a network- is when we get burned time and time again. 

     The beauty of this approach is that good things truly come to those who wait. When you have the approach that these are the only two days that matter, you look long term in a way that you can help those in your network. You do it without expecting anything back. But you also know that it’s in the long term where the magic happens. 

     I can give countless examples of people who I met where, three years later, we collaborated on a successful project, we made introductions that were mutually beneficial or a sale, investment or major connection came from it. But they never would have happened if something was needed in the short term. 

     So, the next time you approach any situation like that scene in Star Wars, where your desperation is real, remember the only two days that matter. Hopefully, you will realize that you have everything you need today. And instead of looking for something to receive, change your approach and begin building a friendship that may yield something much better three years from now.

 

Vincent

 

P.S. If you would like to read more stories like this, check out my new book, The Wealth of Connection, here!

 

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