by

by

Vincent Pugliese

Stop Stopping

What do you do when you stop?

Maybe you are writing a book and, for whatever reason, you just stopped. Life got in the way. Your routine got busted up because time became scarce, you lost your momentum or you spent too much time researching cryptocurrency. 

Maybe you know that your network is the most important part of your business but you stopped connecting. As you look back, you realize that the majority of your clients come from your network, your relationships and word of mouth. Yet, you spend more time putting out fires in your business and focusing on the tasks than you do actually spending time in conversations getting to know people better. 

Or maybe, you looked in the mirror this morning, turned sideways and scrunched your face while you remembered that you haven’t exercised since you don’t know when. You tell yourself all of the time that tomorrow is the day that you will get started again. But I might as well have that slice of cheesecake tonight because tomorrow is the day that you get back on track. 

But what happens when tomorrow never comes?

What happens when you face that moment when you realize that if you don’t get started now, you may never get started? The angst of delay is more painful than the consequences of quitting. So instead of delaying, you quit. Because now you don’t have to think about it anymore. You can make up any excuse you want- I didn’t have time, nobody cared, the dog ate my homework- and people will accept it because nobody cares as much as you do. And if you don’t care, why should they?

So now this is where I fess up. Because of whatever excuse I made up, I stopped writing these weekly newsletters. I can blame it on being on an extended vacation. I can tell you that the business and the podcast and the live events took over and I just didn’t have time. I can say that I’m going to get started next week just like the person delaying working out. And I did that. I did all of those things. And even though I got emails and questions about them not going out, I always had a good enough excuse. 

But an excuse will never push publish. 

But starting after stopping is much harder than just never stopping at all. Will Smith said it well- it’s easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape. And when it came to this weekly newsletter (which I love doing, by the way), I was way out of shape. I allowed one week to turn into two, two to three, and then, before you know it, you are teetering on the edge. 

This newsletter was the hardest to write out of all of them because I allowed myself to become rusty. But I can tell you that even while writing this, I have ideas for two new newsletter ideas that I believe will be solid. I am creating a block of time to write, edit and schedule the upcoming stories. And I am not going to allow stopping to stop me. 

I have a feeling that you also have stopped doing something you love, something that is important to you or something that others get value from. I want to give you a simple message that I got from watching one of the Iron Man movies with our family. It was a simple message but one that was as profound as it was short. I am taking that advice, and I hope you do too. And here it is. 

Stop Stopping. 

P.S.- I am making a commitment to be back here next week and every week. But I want you to do something for me. I want you to email me back and tell me what you are going to stop stopping. 

 Thank you for your grace, patience and understanding. And I’ll be back with you next week!

– Vincent​

Archives

An Introduction To The 80/20 Rule

What I want to bring to you, each week in this blog, is a topic that will help you gain the freedom that you want in your life. So many people crave financial freedom. But what is overlooked is the concept of time freedom.  When you can learn to free your time, and be less

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How (And Why) We Should Accept Compliments

I’ve never been good at accepting compliments. Now don’t get me wrong. I want the compliments- sometimes way too often. I have craved the compliments but I was never good at accepting them. WIth that,  I was called out publicly a few years ago on a mastermind call that I was on with John Lee Dumas from Entrepreneurs on Fire. I don’t remember who it was, I think it was Roger Whitney, the host of the Retirement Answerman Podcast who gave me the compliment. Roger is my friend yet the compliment took me by surprise. Others in the group agreed with him and I responded with a very muted, okay, thanks, or the whole ‘it’s no big deal’ type of thing. And John called me out on it, which I so appreciated as painful as it was in the moment. And this is why I love masterminds. And why I love accountability. I don’t respond well when people complain about judgment or they say ‘who are you to question me on what I did’? You can have a great life- go do your thing-  but we’re not going to relate. I like challenges,. Especially when they come from people care about me. And if you can’t take constructive criticism from somebody who cares about you, you’re always going to be limited in your growth. So some people can call it criticism, but it was one of the best pieces of advice.  John basically said to me, don’t do that. You need to be able to handle compliments better than you do. And he explained that we are diminishing the other person’s gratefulness by doing that. And I’ve never really thought of it that way. Actually, I know I’ve never thought of it that way. I always thought that I was being humble. I didn’t want to brag. I didn’t want to pound my chest and say, yeah, I did do that. Nobody loves somebody that does that. But there’s a big difference between being quiet, defensive, and evasive than there is from the bragger. It’s actually two ends of the spectrum and neither of them are good. So I’ve met John many times. I’ve seen him at conferences. He gets swarmed by people, often people that want to tell them how much he’s helped them with this podcast. And he mentioned to me how he handles compliments. He handles it with a lot of gratitude and appreciation and he makes sure that there’s the big smile that goes with it. As well as a giant, thank you. And the appreciation for this person to go out of their way to give him a compliment. You have to understand the true thankfulness does not give off an appearance of vanity or excessive pride. What you are doing is you are appreciating that person’s compliments and giving them recognition. Now I’m going to guess that if you’re listening, you probably don’t go overly crazy on self praise. It’s just a guess. I’m also going to guess that you might go way on the other end and you might deflect or even feel uncomfortable but what’s even worse is if you reject it. But when you reject the compliment, you are not only  downplaying yourself, but you’re downplaying them as well. And without meaning it you’re downplaying their intelligence because if they truly believe in what you did and they’ve truly given you a great compliment, and you tell them that it wasn’t any good or it really wasn’t worth it, Basically what you’re telling them is that their opinion is an accurate. It’s an insult to the person giving you the compliment. So when you reject or deflect a compliment, what you’re really doing is you’re projecting the idea that you have low self esteem. I’m sure you’ve had it where you’ve given a compliment and it’s been blown off. It’s happened to me. And I don’t know about you, but I feel that way. I feel like I gave a compliment, I believed in them and they didn’t believe in themselves. And it made me feel like maybe I was wrong in thinking that way. Somebody else we might want to avoid when you’re in that spot is to get into a compliment comparison. Have you ever done it? When somebody gives you a compliment and you have to give them a compliment right back. Someone says, ‘Your hair looks great! And you immediately respond with ‘Oh, your hair looks great too!’. And they’re like, I’m wearing a hat. And you might think, why couldn’t I just accept their compliment? Instead, I needed to give it right back. And now it seems phony because what will happen is you’ll come across insincere. So to begin with you’re deflecting, you’re getting it away from yourself, which goes back to what we talked about earlier. But you have to think about this- were you really going to compliment that person on what you did compliment them on? Would you have just walked up to that person and said, ‘Your hair looks great today’ when they’re wearing a hat? No, of course you wouldn’t. It’s got to be sincere. It’s got to be meaningful. And it’s got. to be honest. So stop doing that.

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The Price of Perfection

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How To Reinvent Yourself

And Then Covid Happened… That is a book title if you’d like to run with it. And I’m not talking about anything to do with health. But I am talking about how so many businesses and careers were tossed around and flipped on their side like a swath of boats strewn along the land after

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The Rich Don’t Work For Money

Andrew is walking towards me. He has a tarantula in one hand and a plastic red Solo cup filled with money in the other.  In that moment, it was obvious that he was on to something. Andrew is our oldest son- a sixteen-year-old who who was fifteen at the time. He has always had an

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