Episode 220- I Don’t Want To

So Michelle Williams is an amazing part of our mastermind. She’s been a highly skilled recruiter. She runs a mastermind of her own for women, but she has this passion to help people get through their fears and to do the things that freak them out. So as you can imagine, we get along very well. But on a couple months ago, we’re talking about public speaking and she had done a little bit of it and we had asked about it and she pushed back on wanting to do more public speaking and she had done some of it and it completely lined up with our platform. So I do what I do when I see an opening and I’m pushing the buttons and I’m just curious to why she’s not doing more of this. And she said, I just don’t want to. And that would have been a very easy thing to leave right there.

Because some people might be like, get off my back. I don’t want to leave me alone, don’t want to do it. But I did sense that something didn’t seem right. I said, I got to push it just a little bit further before I let this one go. And I said, is it that you don’t want to or you’re afraid to do it? I saw her face change a little bit and she put her head down a little bit. Then she smiled and she was so honest and she said, I’m afraid to do it. And we had such an incredible conversation and debate back and forth because the words that we use can paint a completely different picture of not only how we feel, but also of what we want to do. And she realized by saying, I don’t want to do. It was a safe way of letting yourself off the hook because if somebody tells you they don’t want to do something, nobody is going to nag them to do it.

I don’t want to go bungee jumping, but why do you keep bugging them? Like get off my back. You’re annoying me, but that’s not what we’re dealing with here. And I had a friend one time years ago that would tell me about his problems. We’d go for long walks and he’d tell me about these things going on and these things that were wrong. And I’m obviously trying to help and I’ll suggest things cause he’s coming to me with problems. I didn’t bring it up. And then once I asked these questions, I’ll say, but I’m happy I finally got fed up. And I’m like, Oh, that’s such a BS answer. Because if you’re happy, you wouldn’t be complaining about all these things that you’re complaining about. So I was frustrated and I said to him, do not waste my time with this because it’s absolutely unfair to be complaining about things and looking for solutions for things.

And when people give you solutions or ideas, you say, but I’m happy. It’s like nailing jello to the wall. So Michelle, she wasn’t doing that, but unintentionally who she was doing something like it because by saying I don’t want to, that says that she’s not interested, but by saying that I’m scared to do so, it’s a completely different story that says I’m interested or I might be interested, but I’m afraid to do something about it. And it’s two completely different stories. So on that call she realized she was afraid more than she didn’t want to do it. And as the conversation went on, she let it be known that she actually is really interested in public speaking. So Michelle mustered up the courage and she accepted a speaking gig in South Carolina where she lives and she went to work and she worked on the presentation and she worked on what she was handing out to the people.

And I remember how she was the Tuesday before that speech. But what I remember more than that is the message that she sent afterwards and she was freaking out and she was like, that was amazing. She was absolutely lit up after rocking the stage for a hundred people and walking the walk for what she helps other people do, which is do things that freak them out. And what was amazing that she said was one woman that was on the side of the stage and told her how incredible her speech was and how much of an impact that presentation had on her. And I called her afterwards. I knew she was so excited and she said, Vince, that one conversation with that one woman and how she responded to it and how it impacted her was worth all of it and now she’s given more presentations since then and each one she gets more confident in and it’s such a success story that’s just going to get bigger and brighter.

I know Michelle is going to be fine for what I’m thinking about. Are all the people out there that hide behind, I don’t want to or they hide behind, but I’m happy or they hide behind the thing that I can’t stand, which is I’m fine. I’m fine. To me is the lamest answer. If you ever asked me how I’m doing and I say, I’m fine, you have permission to smack me in the back of my head. Nobody puts, I’m fine and their tombstone. Although there’s a more uninspiring boring thing to say consistently, then I’m fine, but you need to ask yourself when you’re not doing the things that you really want to challenge yourself to do, and we all have it. I know you have it. I know there’s something that you’re itching to do that you’re thinking about and you’re kind of planning on and it’s so easy to say, but I don’t want to do it.

I’ll be honest when I say I understand, I don’t want to do it. If you said to me, why don’t you go pick up toxic waste at three o’clock in the morning on Friday, I’m going to tell you I don’t want to do it. Then if you said, well you scared. Well that’s probably a bad example cause yeah, I would be scared to pick up toxic waste on the side of the road, but if it was just pick up garbage on the side of the road at three o’clock in the morning, no, I don’t want to do it. I’m not scared to do it. I just don’t want to. But that’s way different than something that we actually want to do. But we hide behind. I don’t want you, cause most people are not going to challenge you on that. Most people are going to accept that from you. And then you get to live in mediocrity by not really challenging yourself to do what inside you want to do. So that’s what I want you to think about today. That next thing that you want to accomplish, that you’re not pulling the trigger on, are you not doing it because you don’t want to or you’re not doing it because you’re scared and there’s a big difference. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 219- The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind

Around three years ago, I was walking through a bookstore looking for a book to buy. I tend to go to the business or self development section and I always go in the same direction and some of the books that I’m going to buy and I didn’t want to do that. This time I wanted something a little bit different. And I came upon this book titled the boy who harnessed the wind, a picture of a windmill on the cover and this kid, and I’m not sure why I picked it up for some reason that grabbed my attention. I looked inside of it, I read a couple of pages and I got caught up and I said, there’s the book and I bought this book and I think I gravitate towards it because it was in the middle of my adrenal fatigue that I had talked about and I was going through a heavy bout of anxiety and depression.

So I think I needed something that would inspire me in a different way on that day. Cause I remember being one of the worst days when I was going through it and I could barely keep my eyes open. It was like 10 30 in the morning and my body just felt exhausted. My mind felt exhausted so that they’re reading it and talking to Elizabeth about it. We thought it’d be a fantastic movie to bring and watch with the kids. It’s a true story. It’s about this boy in Africa and lived in a town that was suffering from severe drought. It was a very poor, impoverished area. And as bad as it was, once the droughts came in, which killed so many of the crops and then floods came in, which washed away their crops, their harvest, maybe their houses. So you had a lot of people that were dying.

You had a lot of people that were leaving, but this boy had nowhere to go. It was him and his parents and his sister and he had a love for electronics. And as I read it, it reminded me so much of our kids were constantly taking apart electronics, trying to put them back together, figuring out the wires and the transmitters, you know, they build their own little cars, their own little generators. I’ll be honest, like it’s so foreign to me. I never had any interest in any of that stuff and they just are wired for it. So this kid in a way reminded me of our kids. So during this process and this drought and the struggle, he figured out that he could make a dynamo and turn something with a fan that can create energy and they can get water from the well so they can plant their crops and they could water them even during the drought.

So as the entire town was getting desperate, not surprisingly, he was really excited about this idea. So he learned and he studied and he read on this and it got so bad that their parents didn’t have enough money. So he wasn’t even allowed to go to school because they weren’t paying for the tuition. So that’s where he would learn about it and read about it in the library. But he found a way, he found a way to get into the library to talk them into allowing him in there so he can study this. But the bad part was this from the parent and father perspective and Elizabeth and the boys talked about this after the movie. I wasn’t there for the conversation, but they talked about the father in the movie and the father in the movie had a really hard time with change. Even when he was younger, his father didn’t want to give him land cause he knew his son had a hard time changing and would need to.

But the son always wanted to do things the same way. So we left it to his other son. So as the movie went on, we saw this, they kept doing the same thing and the father kept trying to harvest the land. No, how dry it was. He never changed approaches. It was to the point where it’s a really important part of the movie. The son comes to the dad and he pleads, he says, dad, if I could use your bike, I can use it for this windmill that would harness the wind to get this water. But I’d had to cut your bike apart. And instead of listening, the dad was so stuck in his ways that he got mad and broke his son’s radio and said, stop this, forget this. And they got into a huge fight about it. But the son didn’t quit. He had this resolve and he brought his friends into it and he told them what was going on and all the kids can too, and said, give your son a chance to do this.

And even then, even then, the father did not want to change. He actually wanted to fight the kids because they were challenging him. And it wasn’t until the dad’s daughter, the boys older sister left to go to another town and his wife finally confronted him on this. At the same time, nearly everybody was gone from the town. People were either dying or they had left. The chief of the town had died, the kid’s dog had died. And it was only then in the most desperate situation that the dad finally relented the change and listened to his son and to give him the bike. So the son takes the bike and he proceeded to take it and turn into a wheel on the windmill and he put it together and the wind came, it spun around and water started pumping out and everybody that was there celebrated and they were able to finally start setting things up and harvest the crops again.

And it was only in extreme situations where the dad was able to change. And this goes to the growth mindset that we talk about and unfortunately a lot of us that are looking to grow are dealing with family members that don’t want to change. And we’re talking distant family members, we’re talking parents and we’re talking spouses. And it becomes very difficult when you have a growth mindset. You’re always looking to learn to get better and you’re going to have it in your life. And I have it in mind when you’re around people that do not want to change, and it’s a difficult process because you cannot get somebody to change. You cannot make somebody that doesn’t want to change change. But when you watch or read this story, and it’s a cautionary tale, but we can take this as a warning to say, let’s not become that type of person that gets so stuck in our own ways that we keep doing it the same over and over, whether it’s parenting, business, our health, the same way we always have, just because that’s the way we’ve always done it, to realize that we constantly need change and we constantly need to have that open mind to be able to change.

So I’d highly encourage you to check this out. Either the book or the movie. I love both the movies on Netflix. I’m not sure if it’s still on there. There is a lot of subtitles, so it’s a little more difficult, especially with younger kids. But it’s a fantastic story. That’s just a little lesson about the boy. You harness the wind. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 218- Build It Wisely

I want to talk to you today about a woman named Courtney Wisely. I met Courtney just a couple of months ago through an introduction through my friend Ken Carfagno, and she was building her business and she was looking for a group of entrepreneurs to mastermind with. And I told her about our mastermind because Ken’s been a part of it for a couple of years and he had recommended it to her. So at first she didn’t think she could do it, she didn’t think she could afford it, and she immediately said, I’m in, I’m doing this. And her story is remarkable. And what’s happened since then is even more remarkable. You see, Courtney is an automation expert, a genius, I would say. And what she does is she helps house cleaners automate their businesses. So I’m like really curious about this and say, explain to me what you do. And she went into the details of all of the stuff that she does.

And it was a blur to me. All these different topics and ideas and systems that she puts in place. And she’s just on it. And I’m really curious about this. And I’m like, how much money do you make for this? How much do you charge for this? And she’s like, Oh, I don’t charge them anything. And I’m like, what is the matter with you? Why are you not charging for this? And she’s like, I don’t know. I love doing it and I’m not sure what I would charge and what people really pay me for this. And she explained it more and she literally does these retreats where she flies to these different places and over a couple of days she helps and goes through their computers and their programs and she automates everything for them. I start looking up certain things about her and people are raving, they’re absolutely raving about what she’s done for their business.

So that’s where I talked to Courtney. I called Ken and I was like, what’s going on with this Courtney? What is stopping her? Because it sounds like she’s got a gold mine here. People are raving about her, she’s changing their businesses, but she’s flying to these different retreats and she’s not getting paid anything. Like, what are we missing here? Why is this not exploding? And he said, yeah, I know. That’s why I recommended her to you cause I know what she has the potential of and what we could do together with this. So not long after she did another retreat for Ken’s cleaning tribe cause he runs a cleaning tribe, smart cleaning beers for solo cleaners and she went out to New Hampshire to a retreat with a bunch of people in his community and did the same thing for them. And I’m getting frustrated. I’m like, why are you doing it this way?

Like I love generosity, I love you helping people, but you’re going to get taken advantage of this. And people are literally begging her to charge so they could pay her for it. She jumps into the mastermind and we’re all over her like, why is this going this way? Why are you not charging this? Talking about prices, talking about opportunity. And she pushed back at first and I think she was uncomfortable with it, but I think she started to realize what was going on and the fact that people are looking to pay you for this as a consumer, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want them doing it for me for free. They should be compensated for it. And selfishly if I pay, I think I’m going to get better service. We’ve worked with way too many people who’ve done stuff for free and it was nice in the beginning, but being that they weren’t getting paid, they didn’t take it nearly as seriously as we needed them to.

And we’re like, well let’s just pay you, but we need to get this done and needed to get done well. So we’re trying to tell her people are going to appreciate the work that you do more if you charge them. So she did. She bit the bullets, she was frightened. She did her first paid retreat and she sold it out in no time. And then she did her second one and she raised the prices and she sold it out again. And now each person at this retreat, I think 10 people go to each one are paying $1,500 a person. She does one a month and a world is changing because they’re telling her you can charge 5,000 a person to do this and people would want to pay for it for the value that she’s bringing. Now, I’m not saying this just to brag on home, which I am, and maybe somebody listening is going to hear about her and hire her and go to one of her treats.

That would be amazing. But I want to talk to you about what happened before all this stuff happened because so many people preach, charge what you’re worth. Never do work for free. And to me that is awful advice. I’m going to give this as an example. Courtney never wanted the charge. She had a hang up about it, but she loved doing this. She absolutely adores helping people automate their systems. She calls herself a geek, a nerd, but this is what she just dives into and loves. So she kept doing it and she kept helping people and she had no expectations. And for most people, I would never advise doing it to the extent that she did it because I think it was for a few years that she did this for different people and not just different people, different groups. So she would go and she would automate all their systems and she’d leave and she’d never get paid.

But guess what she did? She created the most amazing group of raving fans. These people could not stop talking about Courtney about what she did, not that she did it for free, cause I’m sure they mentioned it, but how she helped their business. So she started talking about this. Her email list kept growing, all the connections and the relationships start happening, but she still wasn’t getting paid. And I know very few entrepreneurs or freelancers that would do what she did because they want to figure out how to charge as quickly as they can get with their worth. She did almost the exact opposite point where it could have possibly been very damaging if it was over time, consistently the same way. Again, she did the opposite of what everybody does, but it’s my type of marketing. It’s brilliant because people might not have hired her in the very beginning because they didn’t trust her.

Maybe they didn’t trust her, but being willing to do it the way she did it. Who’s going to turn that down? Now? She gets in front of a captive audience and she blows them away and then they’d tell their friends and again, she’s like, okay, I’ll do it for you, and she does it for free. You know, you cringe a little bit when you hear that, but then she blows them away and she keeps doing it to where people just keep talking about her because if you have a business, you just started and I said, you’re going to start a retreat and you’re going to charge $1,000 per person and very few people know about what you do, but you’re worth this because you know you’re good. You think you’re going to sell that retreat out $1,000 a person, most likely not. You might not even get a sale if you don’t have the audience for it.

And people get frustrated. I know I’m good at this, but nobody’s buying and they have those expectations that go with it. She did the opposite. Very much like the find your addicts episode. I did about 50 cent. She found her addicts. She so over-delivered that they could not stop talking about her. So when she finally did it and she finally opened the doors and she finally charged, she had people lined around the corner figuratively to sign up and then she raises the price, sells it out again. She can raise the price right now and we’ll sell it out again. She has the potential to do these retreats at this price, but at the same time do a conference cause Courtney loves theater to do a conference in beautiful theaters around the country. We’re for at a lower price for the people that can’t get into the retreat, she can do similar things for them or teach in that.

In that setting, the potential is unlimited and I don’t think it’s going to slow down and it’s only because, not only, but I think I’m big reason is because she was so generous in the beginning and it wasn’t about the money and because it wasn’t about the money. She got to show the world what she did and her skills and her talents, her wizardry, as you would call it, cause she’s a huge Harry Potter fan and now she really doesn’t need the work. The work’s just coming to her. So I’m not telling you to go work for free for two years, but we kind of did the same thing. I made $20,000 in my first five or six years of photography. I needed to go shoot and get better and learn and make connections and build trust. And that’s what she did was she built trust. So instead of thinking about, Oh, I’ve got to get what I’m worth, see if you can shift that around to, I’ve got to build trust because Courtney’s now an overnight sensation, quote unquote. But there’s a lot of roots that go deep that she planted with her generosity and her helpfulness, and it built so much trust, but you became an overnight sensation. So congratulations to Courtney. I’ll put her information in the show notes for anyone that wants to check out what she does, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 216- It Doesn’t Always Work Out

So by listening to this podcast, you’re obviously into some form of personal or self-development. If that’s the case and I’m labeled into that category, I understand how that group gets a bad rap sometimes. And I felt that way in the past before I was in there. It’s like it’s the whole rah rah, rah, everything’s always great. You can always do it. Everything turns out great if you keep going and it can feel kind of demoralizing when you’re struggling, when things aren’t going well, it’s very easy to think, well that’s good for you, that works out for you. But for me or for people like me, it doesn’t work out that way. It seems like with these people, there’s like a magic touch and it always comes out good in the end. So I think a lot of people become impatient with their success or their lack of success because they listen to so many people that say, if you just do it, it’s going to work.

And so often they fail to talk about all of the disappointments and the failures and the opportunities that did not work out before it actually did. And so often when you’re in the beginning it takes so much more time to get there that it does later on cause you haven’t figured it out yet. And so many people quit in those beginning tough stages because they’re seeing all these other people that are having success. It seems so much easier for them than it does for you and you wind up telling yourself, well, I’m really not built for this. I’m not wired for this. I might as well just get out of it before it becomes any more painful and go back to what I know which might be a job or doing something saver and convince yourself that it’s not for you. And I will say this if you don’t have the stomach for it, if you don’t have the stomach for the pain and the grind and the disappointments that are going to happen most, especially in the beginning stages, maybe it’s not for you.

But I can tell you, and I’m here to tell you today that with each thing you try, there isn’t always a silver lining or success at the end of it. Now there might be a great story but maybe not what you would consider a success. So what I love about doing this podcast is I get to rack my brain and continually remember events and things. In the past that happened as I was leading up to where we’re at today. And even though I am not in the world of photography anymore, many of my stories relate back to the photography career. And the reason why I tell him, cause it’s not about photography, what I’ve found is it’s such a relatable field. So many of the people that listen to this, so the stories often are transferable. So I thought about the story that I’m going to tell you today.

After a while I was able to laugh at myself in this situation. But it took a while to feel that way. So I want to take you back to the summer of 1998 if you’re a baseball fan at all, you might remember that Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa run a home run tear that year. And it was obvious by June that one or both of them might break the all time home run record for a season in major league baseball. At the same time. Later on that summer I would be leaving New York and my freelance jobs with the world wrestling Federation and the associated press to go back to to Ohio university, get my degree in communications. I, along with millions of others, got wrapped up in this home run chase in late August, 1998 I was still in New York packing up quite literally to go back to school a little more than a week later when McGuire st Louis Cardinals came into New York to play my team, the New York Mets and McGuire came in with 49 home runs one away from being the first player ever to have 50 home runs in three straight seasons and only 13 away from the all time home run record.

So me and my brother and a bunch of friends took the subway into Queens to watch the game. Hopefully they see some type of history and we weren’t disappointed early in the game. Mark McGuire crushed his 50th home run and in a rare scene got a standing ovation from the Mets crowd as a visiting player. And that night he went on to hit his 51st home run as well. And I went home and I pack some more and I started getting really excited because I was driving to Athens, Ohio to start school. And I saw that in early September, the Cardinals were traveling to Cincinnati, Ohio to play the reds. And if all went well, Mark McGuire could possibly break the home run record in Cincinnati. And being a photographer that’s always looking for access in history. So a chance that I possibly could photograph, record breaking home run.

And I got to Ohio and it was labor day and I watched on television why I went to a bar locally as McGuire hit his 60th and his 61st home run, tying Roger Maris for the most home runs hit in a season and he was one away and there was only one more home game for him in st Louis before they traveled to Cincinnati. So on my first day of classes at OU, I rushed out of my evening class to get back to my room to watch that game and just hope that McGuire did not hit a home run because if they could just shut him down that night, I would be driving to Cincinnati the next day, cutting classes on only my second day of college there to hopefully photograph that game or rushed out of class. And I went to a restaurant that was right near the building and the game had started and I checked the score and McGuire didn’t Homer in the first day and I’m like, Oh, I’m only a couple at-bats away.

And I went back to my room and I grabbed my dinner. I sat in front of the televisions, McGuire stepped up to the plate and the crowd cheering like crazy and everybody wanted him to break the record except for me. Well actually I want him to break it just not then. And I believe on the first swing you’d land a hard drive into left field and it was hit hard but it didn’t look like it was going to go over the fence and it kept trailing and trailing. I kept thinking just to hit the wall, get a double and let’s move on. And I watched the ball dip and it just dipped right behind the fence and just like that Maguire broke the record and my heart dropped as fast that balded behind the fence and I knew I wasn’t photographing history but I still had a ticket for the next two games in Cincinnati and this has become such big news nationally that was like I should go to Cincinnati still in photograph has first back cause it’s going to be the first at bat on the road after he broke the record and that might be almost as great of a moment anyway because he’s going get a standing ovation from the crowd is going to lift his helmet up and when the history is remembered, I’m going to have a photograph from that time.

So I got out of my classes early in the day. I cut my evening classes and I drove to Cincinnati nearly four hours away. Everything went smooth until I got caught behind an accident halfway between Athens and Cincinnati. Watch the clock and I realized it was starting to get really close. I was cutting it tight because we hadn’t moved for over an hour and finally it cleared up and I got it. The Cincinnati blues creeping up on game time and I still needed to park and get my gear and get into the stadium and sneak down to a decent spot, right? Get a good image. And I pulled up and I paid for parking and I knew what the Red’s batting first and McGuire batting third, just a few minutes after the game was going to start, was going to be that standing ovation. I parked farther from the stay and that I wanted to, but there was nothing close and I ran like you can’t imagine with my camera bag over my shoulder, across the parking lot, trying to get to the stadium to capture this piece of history.

And all I was listening for was the roar of the crowd because as long as I didn’t hear it, I was going to be fine. And I handed the usher my ticket and I was sweating profusely trying to catch my breath. And as soon as I heard the turnstile click, I heard the announcement announcing the new home-run champion Mark McGuire. And while I was underneath the stands, just walking in the stadium started to shake, was that loud of an ovation. And I ran through the dark Concourse trying to get a glimpse of a tunnel to get me in so I could see this and photograph it. And the ovation continued. It didn’t seem to stop. It went on and on and they clapped. As hard as I was running to get there and before I could reach a tunnel, I heard it die down and I hadn’t even gotten to the crowd for the ovation was over and McGuire got out and the inning ended and I was absolutely demoralized and exhausted from the entire day or the couple of days of trying to figure this out and get there.

And now I slowed down and walked into the stadium. I realized, well I missed that now, but I might as well get a picture of McGuire playing in this game. And I walked into the stadium and that’s when I looked at first base and I saw a different player than Mark Maguire walking to first base. And it turned out that Tony LA Russa, the Kardos manager, put McGuire in for that one at bat to get the ovation and then pulled him from the game and put his backup in. And I grabbed my seat and I slunk down. I said, you got to be kidding me. And I shot a couple of innings and I left to drive back to Athens and I never even saw Mark Maguire. But being young and stupid. The next morning I woke up and I said, I need to drive back the next day because I have a ticket and I’ve got to get a photograph of McGuire either playing or hitting a home run.

So I did it again. The next day I drove back to Cincinnati again, got caught in traffic, but I left earlier this time so I was fine. Not sure what was going on with the Southern central part of Ohio and traffic at that point of the year, but I went back. I’ve got to get that picture. I cannot come out of this empty handed again. Got my parking spot again, walked into the stadium vis time. I was early only to grab the program to see that Mark McGuire was scratched from the game and not playing to give him a night off. I sat there staring at the field and absolute disbelief and shortly after I drove back to Athens one more time and I came away from the entire experience completely empty handed, so you don’t want to be around me. When one of those highlights popped up from that magical year, because all I feel is frustration and exhaustion, and I tell this story to let you know that it does not always work out.

You are going to put your heart and soul into certain areas and projects. Absolutely nothing will come from it. And I don’t mean this to be a downer. I mean this to be a reality check that we don’t live in a microwave world here. It doesn’t happen as fast as you think it might. And if I would have quit then if I would’ve said, I’m not cut out for this. It’s too difficult. Even though there were times I felt like quitting. You need to be able to take the lumps when there’s no reward and keep going if it’s really what you want. So this isn’t meant to be inspiring. This is for those that are struggling right now. They’ve been hit with some losses and they’re feeling like they want to quit because it’s not working out. It’s not always gonna work out. But if it’s what you really want, don’t quit. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 215- That’s A Shell Of An Idea

So we just spent the last month in St. Augustine, Florida, and we are now taking the month of February and the Gulf shores of Alabama in orange beach, Alabama to explore as a family this whole region for the next month as homeschool parents. What we love to do when we go on the road is have the kids build a business while we’re in these places and Elizabeth is just wonderful. The way she does all this. She puts all this together. She came up with this idea in st Augustine, let me backtrack. We were in Arizona last year. The kids wanted to make some money. So we said, well, look around, how can you be helpful to people around here? What can you do that can earn money and be something that people want to pay you for? And they quickly noticed that there were weeds growing in all the yards in Tempe and they probably needed to be pulled.

And then we found out that you actually have to get your weeds cleaned up by city ordinance or you get fined. So landscaping services, that’s what they did. They came out and either sprayed or they pulled weeds. So like I know they’re paying these landscaping companies a decent amount of money and some people don’t want to spray, so why don’t you knock on doors and see if you could be the one that pulls the weeds. Dylan was seven at the time, so he’s got kind of an unfair advantage. He goes up and people just want, you know, they see a seven year old show up at the door wanting to do work. People want to pay him without even doing the work. They just like the idea of them doing that. So I said, this isn’t going to last forever but, but enjoy this while you can.

But the first person who knocked on the door, he loved the idea. So how about I give you $5? And he loved it, went out, I helped him a little bit and he pulled the weeds. They started a business where we did this almost every day that we were there for the last month and a half. And they had one day where they got a big job and some others, and collectively they made over $160 in that day. I’m like, guys, this is real money right here. Like I don’t want to go too far ahead of ourselves, but if we lived here, you can literally start a landscaping business and build this just like this and make as much money as a lot of adults do. So they did that the entire time we were there. We came to Florida, they weren’t sure exactly what to do. And one day Elizabeth was out with the boys collecting shells while I was working and they stopped at the dollar store, which is one of the kids’ favorite stores, which I love.

And she had this idea like, why don’t we collect these shells? And then you buy these frames and then with your glue gun you guys can glue the shells onto the frames and sell them to the people at the beach. And then they said, well we could do candle holders as well. And they saw these little pots like, well we could put shells around the parts. We can customize it to the local area so the kids wanted money and we’re not giving them money. So they’re like, let’s do this. So we create this makeshift little art studio in the place where we’re staying, which is called the dining room table. And they went to work, and I’m not going to tell you it was all rainbows and unicorns. There was a lot of bickering. There was some complaining. Well, there was more than some complaining at times.

There was nervousness about selling. Who do we bring it to? You know it’s not good enough. I don’t think we did this just right. It was fun, intense at the same time. And they had a bunch done and it was now time to go sell. And then the nerves came about because even adults have a hard time selling. They feel insecure. They’re not sure what to say. And luckily when they went around, they had a pretty captive audience and they made a couple of quick sales, but they also got a ton of nos, which I was so glad to see because that’s real life and it’s pretty cool when your kids come back and you go out with them. They go, I just made $22 and not only that, people complimented them on the quality of the work. It’s so interesting when you go around to go sell, when you see who’s interested, who’s not interested in reading body language, and we figured out pretty quickly when you’re walking on the beach, if you’re going to approach one person, they say no more than anybody, especially when it’s a male.

There was nobody that blew them off quicker than some guy on the beach by himself. Often. They barely looked up saying no thanks or just no. So it’s just a great lesson for the kids to realize that. So they learned that the older, the couple, the more receptive somebody will be because they really saw the kids putting the effort in and we’re trying to tell them, you’ve got grandparents here that there’s some money and they’ve got time, they’ve got grandkids. This is a pretty good audience to sell to. So the process has been really good. They’ve made some money. They went out the other night, I think it was Saturday night. We went out in the old town of st Augustine, just great audience to sell to and they made over $100 that night and sales and I came back and I thought about the whole thing a bunch and I have a tendency to go too hard cause I’ll be like, okay guys, let’s go get more shells tomorrow.

We’ll get more frames. And I’m looking at the potential of what they can do and Elizabeth like slowed down a little bit. Well you’re like let’s not take the fun out of this for them. And I’m like I got you, I got you. Cause I just get excited but I’m not getting excited for the money. And this is what I want to talk about today. This little business has so many components that kids and adults have to learn, and we got to have a really deep conversation about it one day because Dylan, our youngest, really loves the selling part. He’s got almost no fear when it comes to grabbing his stuff. Going up to somebody, say, hi, I’m Dylan. We made these things ourself. We collected the shells. Would you like to buy any? So the other two were getting frustrated because Dylan was making a lot of sales.

I’m like, he’s being bold and he’s going after it. And our other two are a little bit shyer when it comes to this. So there’s some work that has to get done with the selling, but we have to sit down and have a conversation that selling is important. Everybody’s got to learn how to sell in business and in life, whether you’re trying to convince somebody to do something that you wanted to do or buy a product, everybody is selling all the time, but selling is not the only part of this business. Part of the business is collecting these shells and buying the frames and buying the pots. Part of the business is taking that and putting the product together and then part of it is sales. Start talking to them about all these different parts of the business. Which ones are you most comfortable with?

What do you think your strength is? What are the things that you don’t like doing and not that you’re going to be able to say no to wait yet because you need to learn all aspects at this point. But the oldest is the best at putting it all together and the youngest is the best at selling and the middle can do a little bit of everything really well. You quite literally have a business here because while one or two of you are out selling the other one or possibly two could be back creating. So if you’ve got enough shells and you’ve got enough frames and we’ve got the time, you can produce the products while the other one’s them. Really talking about efficiency. So you’re learning about products, you’re learning about sales. Now. Part of it also is when you make this money to keep a ledger of where the money’s coming from, how much did each things sell for, how much did you bring in?

Everybody gets their share and how are you separating this summer is going into spending, some is going to the saving, some is going into giving. So we had the finance aspect of it, but then there’s also the communication part, which is difficult with kids because not everybody is comfortable going up to adults and explaining what the product is explaining that don’t just say that you’re selling this frame. Say we collected these shells from the beaches and we bought the frames and we put it on ourselves. So this is an actual souvenir from this place that we created. When they didn’t say that. A lot of people like, Oh that’s nice and they’d walk away when they said they did the work to create that people were excited to buy and one woman who bought the frame in st Augustine Saturday night came up to us and said, this is the type of souvenir that I want to buy if I want to buy a souvenir.

I love that it was made from somebody here with the shells from this place. I said, guys, you got to start writing this stuff down because we can keep doing this for the next couple of months at different places that we’re going. But it also brought up some great challenges of communication. You’ve got to learn how to talk to people. You’ve got to learn how to negotiate with your brothers in terms of who’s doing what. You’ve got to understand as well that if you Slack off and your side of it, you are hurting the other side of it. So so many people say to, I was like, what does homeschooling look like? You know, do you use a curriculum? How does this even work? And to us, this is homeschooling because our job isn’t for them to just memorize stuff that they can look up. Our job is to guide them to become great adults.

They are generous, helpful contributors to society. So of course there’s ups and downs with all of this. The next day they were all exhausted and grumpy and they didn’t want any part of it that day. But even though they were tired, they learned that they can do this, they can actually create something, they can create an idea and they can build it and they can sell it and they can make money from it. So they don’t know that we kind of set them up because now if they want money, well you know it’s not coming from us. And if you want to buy something, well, each step along the way, you’re learning of ways to make money. So there’s no excuses. We’ve got the shells there, I’ll drive you over to buy the frames, but also teaches them that you’ve got to buy the products to build this stuff with.

So money comes out of the profit to buy the supplies. So you gotta factor that in. It’s not just all your money. And this is just why I love kids and entrepreneurship. I love teaching this stuff early. So it becomes ingrained and then that you have control over your future cause I don’t want to get too ahead of it. But if you do this and this is what you do with your time and you eventually hire the people out or you find ways to more efficiently strip mute this, there is no limit on your income. And I was never told this as a kid, we never talked about entrepreneurship in school. I talked about it more with my parents at times and they encouraged it. But in this day and age, I mean if they produce this and they got really into it, it’d be easy to set up a shop online and they can say, we travel and we collect these shelves and they can talk about it as a homegrown business.

And the potential is unlimited. So I’m saying this to encourage you. If you have kids, they’re capable of more than just getting good grades. Like they have the ability to do these things. And I can’t personally think of a better way to prepare them for adulthood and this world that they’re going into this freelance gig economy world that they’re going into. Then by working with them to build a business and as an upside for you too. Cause when they’re making their own money, you don’t have to give them any money. You’re teaching them to be financially responsible, just might save them and you a whole lot of heartache in the future. So just an idea I wanted to bring to you and with that I’m going to shut down and we are going to go search for some more shells. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

February 5th Newsletter- Who Told You That You Could Do That?

When I was around seventeen, I was your typical late 1980’s rocker kid. I had long hair, a bad attitude and heavy, guitar driven music blasting everywhere I went. I was getting into some trouble at school, which was typical of the crowd I hung around with. What was also typical of that crowd was having an earring, which I wanted desperately. I remembered over the past few years, how my brother always wanted an earring, but my parents wouldn’t let him get one. Disagreements waged on and on, and he didn’t get the earring. 

Years later, I wanted that earring. But I remembered those arguments and I knew my parents wouldn’t go for it. So, with my hair easily covering my ears, I went to the mall and got that earring. I didn’t tell my parents, and life went on. Mom and Dad never saw it and the world as we knew it did not come to an end. 

One morning, in a bleary state after a late night out with my friends, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and stumbled into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. Earring exposed, my dad saw it and flipped out. I was obviously busted. He asked how long it was in there, and I told him I’d had it for about six months. He was furious.

“Who told you that you could do that?” he asked. 

“I remembered all of the arguments you and Steve had,” I said, “and I knew you would say no, so I figured why would I ask?”

He went downstairs to call my mother in frustration. I overheard the conversation, and she also asked how long I’d had it in, and he told her six months. I heard my mom say something that really made me understand this approach. I don’t even think she meant to do this. 

“Okay,” she said, “It’s about 6 months and we haven’t even noticed it. Is it really that big of a deal?” 

My dad thought about it and he agreed. He said he didn’t like the idea that I went behind their back and he always told me that I should be a lawyer because I argue so well, but I pointed out the loophole that I didn’t really go behind their back because they never said no- because I never asked. Yeah, I was that kid. I kept the earring for two years, but took it out because I got tired of it.

One of the questions my dad asked me that day is I why I’m writing this today. 

“Who told you that you can do that?”, he asked.

That is the difference between the entrepreneurs that become successful and the ones who don’t. The ones who don’t, often have the employee mindset of waiting for someone else to give them permission. But we’ve been trained through twelve years of school, then college, then working for a boss where we wait for someone else to tell us that we can do something. The greatest advantage of my stubbornness was that as clueless as I was, I did not wait for other people to tell me I can do something. 

Good or bad, success or failure, I knew inherently that I had to do it.Nobody told me that a person with a dream to become a sports photographer with no experience, no talent, and no connections can eventually be paid to be on the field at the Super Bowl and the World Series.

I failed English class multiple times. I got made fun of by my teacher, Mr. Carter, in my junior high school writing class. He would never have said that I should go and write a book but he was the “teacher”. But I wanted to write a book. 

Nobody told me that I can do it. And I want you to stop waiting for somebody else to tell you to that you can do something before you go and do it. Waiting for someone to give the green light so you do what you want to do with your life is a killer of so many dreams. The only way you’ll ever get better at this is by doing it over and over again. And you’ll never get started and you’ll never be able to do it over and over again to get better if you allow someone else’s vision of you to stop you. 

So, when somebody says to you, who told you that you can do that? If you truly want to do that thing there is only one answer to it. 

You told yourself that you can do it. You do not need permission from anybody else to live your dream. 

Episode 214- The Downside of Entrepreneurship

Let’s talk about the downside of entrepreneurship. I’ve been a freelancer slash entrepreneur for the last 15 years and add on a couple of years from way back before my last job, so I’m very familiar with this world and I’m also familiar with how glamorized it’s become by myself as well. Over the last say, five years, this was something that’s entrepreneurial world was not built up this way even 15 years ago when we started back then when you told people you were starting a business or you’re quitting your job to go on your own, only the bravest are the ones who have been through it. We’re excited for you about it. There was a handful of people that got, they understood what the benefits were. They understood the time freedom, unlimited income potential, the tax advantages that they never told you about in school. Nobody talked about that. Very few people talked about them and they certainly weren’t teaching this in school, so the whole thing was scary.

But I really think around 2008 2009 when the economy really started to falter, when the recession happened, a lot of people started seeing, wait, this job thing that I was always told was secure isn’t nearly as secure as I thought it was. And more and more as the internet started to build, people start saying, well, I can build businesses this way on the internet, all these different options and it’s kinda not nearly as dangerous as it used to be. And if you can factor in becoming financially savvy, becoming financially independent now, if you have your money together at the same time and you’ve got the stomach to handle it, especially the beginning part, it starts to almost be a no brainer why you wouldn’t go in that direction as opposed to relying on somebody else. I’ve seen it more and more lately, especially this month. I’ve had a few friends that had been in full time jobs for a long time and they were steady, secure, will never happen to them and then flip of a switch.

They’re out of a job. I say it all the time, build it before you need it because when you need it, it’s too late. But it’s hard to convince somebody of that when they’re not desperate and it’s almost like you have to build that desperation in before you need it. Let me build this at a certain speed so if something does happen, I’m prepared or maybe I can get it to the point where it’s successful enough that I could leave if I wanted to. At least I have options. But now fast forward to 2020 in many circles, entrepreneurship is very sexy. I’m talking to high school kids, college kids, and this is what they want to do. They have no interest in having a job. They want to build a business, they want to control their time, they don’t want limits on income or where they can work from or have an answer to somebody else.

And I can totally relate to that. I wish in some ways I was born in this era because people would have probably got my personality more than they did back when I was growing up. I was a natural born freelancer entrepreneur. I just didn’t know it cause nobody talked about it. So when I got to get into that world, it was like a dream situation for me and I am so ridiculously unemployable that I can’t even explain. If I had to get a job and please don’t ever hire me. If I was even looking, cause I’m going to be a terrible employee. But if I had to get a job, I would be fired by nine Oh three on Monday morning because I want to have input and suggestions on the way things are going or what I think should happen. Maybe like I didn’t hire you for that.

I don’t care about your opinion, do your job. And I would either quit or be fired by, you know, nine Oh three not Oh four so I’ve taken the pill, I’ve drank the Koolaid, I can’t go back. But there are a lot of people that think this is like a dream scenario and there are downfalls to this world. There are pitfalls to it, there are things that are not great and I want to talk about one of them today and I don’t think it’s talked about enough and what that is is loneliness. It is interesting now how many people go guns blazing into this world and they have a lot of success and they have all the things that you’d think you needed when you quit your job to do this. It’s all checked off. I got the money, I got the time, I got the freedom, I turned down the clients that I don’t want.

I only work with the people that I do want. I’ve now built multiple streams of income, different products, different things I can sell. So I have money coming in from different areas. I can shut down the ones I don’t want or optimize them and really go towards the things I do want. And now I want to start this thing or I want to write a book. It all sounds so great and glamorous, but what people don’t see is the loneliness. Often times we’re making the decisions by ourself. For a lot of entrepreneurs, they do not have people that think like they do or get what they’re doing to bounce ideas off of and not just bounce ideas off of, but there are rough times. There are ups and downs and sometimes it’s good to know just that other people are going through it with you and when you don’t have that, it can really start to mess with your brain because you start thinking that I am screwed up.

I’m the only one going through this. I’m the only one dealing with cash flow issues at the moment or the different ideas that are coming up. What decision do I make for this? And when they were employed, as much as they hated their job, they loved the community, they loved having people to talk to their social beings and before they know it, they lost that social aspect of their business or their life. And what’s interesting is I find this a lot in very successful entrepreneurs because when they’re not successful yet, they’re so driven on getting to certain numbers, getting to certain success that they don’t care if they’re locked in a room by themselves. They’re going to get this stuff done. But when you get to the point where you’re like, I’m doing well, I’m making the money, I’ve got all these things, but I feel alone, I’ve got nobody to talk to.

That’s when it really hits. So I’m amazed by the amount of successful entrepreneurs that reach out and talk to me about community and whether to attending an event with like minded entrepreneurs who get what you’re going through or joining some type of a group or a mastermind or community or going to conferences where these people hang out. I can tell you when I felt it, when I felt that quiet and that loneliness going to a conference of people that are thinking like I’m thinking or challenge in the same ways, and being able to have dinner with them and hearing what they’re dealing with, what they’re struggling with, and I’m telling you, you don’t want to see them in any type of misery, but you come away and you go, I’m not alone. I think really hard for the people that were employees that went to the entrepreneurial world because they hated their job when they quit.

But sometimes they start looking back and fondness, like, I miss talking to these people. So if you’re new to this world or you’ve been in it, it’s essential to find community. It’s essential to find people that get what you’re going through. They can talk you through it and you get to help them go through it when you have experience with it. But this is a world that’s kind of untapped right now because entrepreneurs have not had these spaces in the past and it’s starting to happen online in person. We’re all starting to realize that we’re built for community. We’re built to be together. But being in your office by yourself in your pajamas at 10 30 in the morning on a Tuesday when it’s snowing outside is beautiful. When you don’t want to deal with traffic or deal with the crazy boss, but doing that weekend and week out, not getting that outlet of humans that you can talk to and be around, it can wear on you and bring you down. So I’m bringing this to those who are feeling stuck and alone and to those that are about to go into this world. Find community for yourself, whether it’s through a specific niche of what you do. Say you’re an Amazon and you want to be in an Amazon group that gets you, or real estate or entrepreneurs or freelancers, whatever it is, find your tribe, find your community and don’t allow the entrepreneurial world, which is awesome to make you lonely. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 213- Success Is Persistence

So back on December 16th, 2019 a Monday Night Football, New Orleans Saints, quarterback Drew Brees past Peyton Manning for the person who threw the most touchdown passes in NFL history. A Breeza story is pretty cool. He’s a graduate of Purdue university, but as an undersized quarterback, early in his career, he had the struggle to find his way, but he did it because his work ethic is one of the strongest you’ll see, and it’s held up in the league as a model. And all these years later, he’s now 13 times pro bowler, the winner of the NFL man of the year in 2006 the comeback player in 2004 two NFL passing leader seven times and a bevy of other awards, but possibly the greatest highlight of his career was the super bowl 44 in 2010 now that took place in Miami, Florida. But the night before myself, Elizabeth are two young kids and my brother, we’re in Cape Canaveral, Florida and we were there because one of the last space shuttles was about to launch and we always had a dream of seeing a space shuttle launch in person.

They had them scheduled out the year before, but we couldn’t find the time to go. So we saw that on February 7th was going to be the final night launch of a shuttle and we were still in Indiana at that point. We said, we’re going to do a road trip. And my brother decided to fly out from New York because he wanted to be a part of it too. And with two little kids, we drove from Indiana to Florida stopping in Chattanooga, Tennessee to actually sleep on the Chattanooga choo choo train because our kids were so into trains at that point and we learned they made it into a hotel. So we had to experience that and then driving all the way down for the plan lodge, which was to take place at 4:39 AM now, how are we going to go there and keep two little kids up until four 30 in the morning for a launch?

We didn’t really think about, but we got to Florida. We picked up my brother at the airport. We drove to the Kennedy space center on nine o’clock at night and we said, okay, what do we do now? So we looked around the museum and we found ourselves in the odd spot of our kids playing on the playground at the Kennedy space center around one o’clock in the morning, which was bizarre in itself. But then it was even more bizarre that there were a bunch of other kids and parents all around doing the same thing. We’re all acting like it was four 30 in the afternoon because everybody eventually got exhausted and we found a comfortable place to lay down like a bunch of other people did as well. We all took little naps and it was slightly miserable, but we were ready and we’re awaiting and at some point we said, okay, let’s go.

And we got up and we got our chairs, we walked out there and we prepared for launch and the kids are now wide awake and everybody’s excited and they start the countdown. I can’t remember if it was 30 seconds or a minute, but at some point we’re counting down and then the clock stopped and we’re thinking, well maybe this is just procedure. They’re getting everything ready and we’re all waiting and it’s getting a little bit restless. And then about 4:37 AM we hear a muffled voice come over the loudspeaker and they said a couple of words, but the only word that I could make out was sorry. And before we know what was going on, we saw people picking up their chairs and starting to walk towards the exit. And I’m like, I don’t know what the heck just happened, but I think they’re not launching tonight.

And we’re in a jam parking lot. Like, Oh my goodness. We weren’t planning on getting out with everybody at the same time. So we grabbed our chairs and we rushed to the car to beat the traffic. I think Andrew was four, no one was two and Nolan was like, what’s going on? And after we got some information, Andrew was like, Nolan, there’s too many clouds in the sky, they can’t launch. So it turned out is that it was either too cloudy in Florida or one of the designated spots. We’d have to have an emergency landing. And those locations are not cleared for weather. They can’t launch. So the thing was canceled. So we’re like, Oh my goodness. So we head back to the car, but we didn’t plan for us. We didn’t have a hotel that night because we thought we’d just head over to a Disney, which was our next stop.

But the traffic was so horrendous getting out that we couldn’t go anywhere. So we only got a couple blocks away and we pulled into a parking lot of a local insurance company and the five of us just slept cramped inside of our minivan. And we woke up the next morning exhausted with sore necks and we headed over to the Cracker barrel to get some breakfast smelling like who knows what and planning out what to do next. And what we learned was they’re going to try to relaunch the shuttle Sunday night, but luckily this time it would be two 30 not four 30 so at this point, everybody’s exhausted. Nolan’s now becomes sick and we had to decide what to do and we said, there’s no way we’re coming all the way out here and we’re not going to see the shuttle launch. So we said, okay, we’re going to get our room at Disney.

We could get a good meal, we’re going to chill out in the hotel and we’re going to watch the super bowl between the saints and the Colts. And then when the game’s over, we’re going to head back to Cape Canaveral and we’re going to watch that shuttle launch. So my job was to make sure that everybody’s awake at midnight to leave. So now everybody is wiped out and the Superbowl starts. And Elizabeth, Andrew and Nolan are asleep by the end of the first quarter. But me and Steve stayed up in the hotel and watch it. And we were both exhausted, but we knew we needed to make this happen. So we watched late into the night as the saints and drew Brees win the Superbowl and we then make the rounds waking up, Elizabeth waking up, Angela Nolan and saying, let’s get ready and go. So everybody slowly got up, packed into the car.

It’s now around midnight, maybe a little bit after that. And we stopped at the local CVS to get known some cold medicine and we headed off to Cape Canaveral and that’s when we got our first break because the first launch was supposed to happen on a Saturday, which drew heavy crowds, but a lot of people couldn’t come back. So when we went back out there the following night, the crowds and traffic was so much less that we didn’t even try to go to the space center. We got a closer view in Titusville and lucked into a $20 parking spot with a beautiful view of the shuttle just sitting there. It was fun. This time as there was not much wait time and everybody was just excited and we all sat on top of our minivan and waited and counted down and just hope for good weather in those spots set for the emergency landing.

And then the countdown continued and then it stopped again. And the rumors were somewhere in Europe were supposed to land, had bad weather and rain and we just sat there like, we can’t do this one more time, please just launch the shuttle. And the kids were waiting nervously and patiently and the clock started counting down again. And there was some point we looked around and we realized this is going to happen. And if you’ve ever been to a shuttle launch, you know this feeling cause all of a sudden you feel the ground start to shake and you hear the noise as a point of you go, there’s a point of no return. This is going to happen. And we sat there feeling the rumblings and we’re looking at each other and we’re just huge smiles and nervous at the same time. And we’re staring at the shuttle and there’s lights on it, but everything else is pitch black.

And then all of a sudden you see the smoke start billowing out from underneath the shuttle. It seems like it’s taking forever. And then the fire starts flying out from the bottom of the shuttle. And before, you know, at night turns into today, it becomes so bright from the flames of the shuttle that the entire sky lit up. And with that was liftoff. And I still remember the gasps from everybody around us. We all made like a silly childlike noise because we were in complete ours. We watched the shuttle rise into the sky. It was probably a good 30 seconds of daylight. And then it started to fade because we watched the shuttle go higher and higher towards space. And that look of amazement on our kids’ faces. I don’t think I’ll ever forget. And it couldn’t have been more than a minute and a half later before it was gone. And we all got in the car in silence and we couldn’t believe what we just saw and that it really happened.

I dominated the conversation in the back seat until the kids knocked out asleep and we say, we’re sleeping in the next morning. And then we get started on a Disney trip. And then we realized on the drive back that there will be a parade for the MVP of the Superbowl. You know, the whole, we’re going to Disney world. I’m like, Oh my God, that’s happening here tomorrow. But we looked it up and we saw the parade was going to start early and nobody was convinced to get up early to go for the parade. So we gave in and we said, we’re sleeping in and we’re not gonna worry about the parade, even though I wanted to go. So we got up in the morning, the kids were still excited from the shuttle and we got ready and they were excited for Disney. So we got dressed and we headed over to magic kingdom.

And as we started walking in, we noticed all the saints balloons and we said, we know we missed it, but I bet the parade happened right here at the entrance. And we check our tickets and we check into Disney for the first time and we noticed there’s still noises and commotion going on. So I got aggressive. I was like, I think there might still be something of the parade going on. So I was like, let’s go, let’s go, let’s get over there. And I led and I ran ahead to the Gates and the kids and Elizabeth and Steve were behind me. And as we ran up, we noticed a bunch of people lined up waiting for something. And I’m like, there’s no way this could be the parade. So we quickly scooted to the right and we squeezed into a spot, which as we looked around was the very end of the parade to our right.

Literally was the door that closes with the parade ends. And as we stood there, I said to Elizabeth, I said, we could not be this lucky. And I didn’t even finish saying it before. Everybody started screaming. And to my left was a convertible. Slowly turning the corner and in the car were drew Brees and his wife smiling and waving the crowd and I have just enough time to pull up my camera, snap a couple of images and one of them was just perfectly timed. Were drew Brees blue kiss right at us to our right. The door opened the convertible with breeze and his wife went behind the door. The door closed and the parade was over. And I tell that story because it’s a story of if you want something, you have to not only push to get it and overcome the obstacles when it doesn’t work out.

For Drew Brees, it was the Chargers not believing in him, allowing him to go to New Orleans where we became those prolific passer in NFL history, but also would have been very easy to say, we’re not going back out to the shuttle the next night. We already stayed here until four 30 in the morning. This was a disaster. But what is it that you want that you’re willing to endure the pain for? The night that drew Brees broke that record, there was a video posted on social media a couple of days later and it was him by himself in the same practice facility. It was 45 minutes after the rest of his team had left, but breeze didn’t know he was being videotaped and there he was late into the evening, long after everybody was gone by himself, dropping back to pass, doing the visuals, doing all the things in more to get them prepped to face the cult again, just like the Superbowl on that Monday night game and that preparation and that dedication. Let them have a magical night where we went 29 for 30 only missing one pass and in turn setting the record for most touchdown passes thrown by an NFL quarterback in his career success, it turns out often comes down to how persistent you’re going to be after you did the things that you thought would make you successful. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Episode 212- We Remember Those Who Make Us Better

So in episode 50 of the total life freedom podcast, I did a show called Vinny the jerk and it was about the night that I met my wife Elizabeth and how he hit it off. But I must’ve had a way about me or when she went to leave that night she called me Vinnie the jerk. I’ll take that with a little bit of a grain of salt cause she had been drinking just a tad that night. So we get a little bit of a pass on that a little bit, but I certainly can be a jerk. But let me explain on that a little bit because I can be a jerk within my business. I could be a jerk with my clients, but I’m a jerk because I want them to be better. So quite often it’s my job to be the jerk because what I have a lot of times are people that are struggling or people that are stuck or people that are frustrated and they need somebody to come up behind them and give them a nice kick in the pants.

But most people won’t do that. And there was one situation a year ago and there are about a billion I can bring up to you because this is not uncommon, but a great guy named Nick and our total life freedom community was asking about writing a book. And if you know me, I love books. I love the idea of writing a book. I think it’s a great way to build a platform. It’s a great way to get the word out, but this book was way off course from anything that he was working on. He was already stressed out with work and to me it just didn’t make any sense. So he posted it in the group form and he got a whole bunch of, yeah, I think you should do it or that’s a great idea. Go for it. Don’t let anybody stop you. Just do it. And as I can do and I can do so well sometimes I was the jerk as my group, but I was the only dissenting voice.

I said, I don’t get it. Why would you write this book now when you’ve got all these other things going, you’re already struggling with time. You know, this other thing is your main priority. You’ve got to get it off the ground. And as much as I love the idea of writing a book, it is hard work. And what you’re doing right now in my opinion, needs your attention, needs most of your attention. So my suggestion is stick with what you’re doing. Put this on your future list within that list. Write down little ideas about this book so you can keep it going in your mind. So when you’re ready to write it, you’ve got ideas down. But do not go off course with what you’re doing right now cause it’s going to be a distraction. And he messaged me back and he thanked me because he knew that everybody was being supportive and they wanted them to do it and they wanted to say, yeah, crush your fears and go do it both in the context of it, it wasn’t the best thing for him.

So I partially jokingly said, I’m sorry for being a jerk, but we’ve been through this together and I couldn’t in my heart advise you to take that time away and that energy away from what you really need to do to do something that just feels good in the moment. And really that doesn’t line up with what you said you wanted to do. And he thanked me for it. He said, I knew I needed to hear that from you and I needed that opinion. And he said to me, vent, I don’t pay you for tact. Everybody in my life is tactful. Everybody says what they I want to hear and what I need from you is to tell me the truth. And he said in the fact that you do it, knowing that you can lose a client or you could possibly lose a friend in the process, but that you know that you’re doing it because it’s the best thing for me.

That makes me appreciate it even more. And I so appreciated him saying it that way. And I don’t curse on the show because I know I have parents that listen with their kids, but when people ask me what my role is, what my role and my business is with the masterminds and the membership, I tell them that I’m the chief bud kicker. I don’t usually use language that soft when I say that, but I let people know that that’s my role and if people don’t want it or can’t handle it, then they’re probably not in the right place. And it’s not that I’m mean because I might be sounding that way this time. It’s not that it’s that I care and I know that not enough people are telling them the truth. So I have to risk at times coming across like the main one.

But I want to tell you for any of those that have experienced it or any of those that are in that position that I’m in or struggle with it that it’s very valuable for these people to have somebody like that in their life. I appreciate when my friends come to me, the ones that Karen, tell me the truth, not what I want to hear now. What’s gonna make me feel better? But the truth, if you don’t surround yourself with people that will tell you the truth, you’re going to fool yourself into thinking you’re doing better than you are. At the same time, deep down wondering, why aren’t I doing better? And that’s really what it comes down to. Being around and hanging around people that are going to make you better, and the people that are really gonna make you better are going to be the ones that are not going to accept your excuses.

They’re going to be the ones that see your potential. And even if you’re doing better than others, they’re going to push you because you’ve got a higher potential than some other people do. They’re going to be the ones that show you things that you’re not normally seeing, and they’re going to challenge you to look in that direction. Yes, men. And yes, women rarely make you better. They just make you feel better in the moment. But without any real redeeming qualities, knowledge or experience. And as I was thinking about this, and I was thinking about recording this episode, I saw on the news that Jimmy Johnson, the former coach of the Dallas Cowboys, was inducted into the pro football hall of fame. And Troy Aikman, who was his quarterback when they won two Superbowls together, said this, he said Jimmy was the one that put this team together who was the architect and he should have been the first one on this team to be inducted into the hall of fame.

And then he said this, we remember those people that make us better. Now I imagine Jimmy Johnson wasn’t always the nicest. And he didn’t always say what everybody wanted to hear. And at times he was probably quote unquote a jerk. But his job was to make them better. And that’s what he did. And by doing that, not only did his players make the hall of fame, but he did as well. So by being the jerk, that’s what I want for the people around me. And hopefully that’s what you want for the people around you is to be someone that makes them better. Talk to you tomorrow.